I made this burger for Charlie Sheen, and he shook my hand.
I was so honored to prepare this burger for Chuck Norris, it made me cry. Until he punched the tears off my face.
I’m just glad to finally distract the public from Urkell’s infamous Toffifay inside a Ding Dong.
I made one of these for Jesus and he said I was his fantasy of an true American.
I foresee a Swanson’s drive-thru, serving only Turkey Leg Burgers, the ‘Swanson’ (bacon-wrapped turkey leg), deviled eggs and Lagavulin Scotch in a to-go cup.
I love this meal. My wife gets upset, though, when I eat the bone.
This pleases me much. Now please, someone, prepare a Meat Tornado inside a Sirloin.”— Nick Offerman emails the AV Club seven quotes on the Ron Swanson Turkey Burger (via fuckyeahparksandrec)